A Heart Attack During a Wedding

I don't have a great picture of just the couple, so here's the couple plus grandma Toni.

How does one officiate a wedding for the first time? Certainly not with a bunch of notecards. That would be sooooooooo 20th century. I decided to use Google Docs to write the ceremony, meaning I could just open it on an iPad during Monday's big ceremony.

I downloaded the ceremony, checked and rechecked that it was fully loaded. Then, happy it was all there, I closed the iPad cover and took it to the Portland Observatory for the ceremony. Things were going fine during the ceremony. I was talking to fast but didn't really lose my place in the speech. I hadn't practiced enough to really have it nailed down but I'm confident nobody cared. There was only about 17 people there.

We got to the vows. I was home free! But as I was scrolling through the bride's vows, I saw an ominous black page coming up. And an exclamation point.

"Sorry! This page could not load. Please reload and try again."

In the middle of the vows.

For about 5 seconds, I considered winging it.

Hang on. I have a smartphone. I think there's a Google Drive button on there. Let's put down this iPad and see what's up. No, I'll skip the Drive tour, thanks Goog ... oh, there's the wedding ceremony right there. One click and we were back into the ceremony.

Thank God for good and understanding friends.

There's not much more to say because the ceremony covers all the ground. It's too bad Hashtag and #PoundSign weren't there, but they had other family obligations.

CEREMONY (minus the vows)

Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family, let’s turn our attention to the stairwell and welcome Mr. Dan Lindberg and Ms. Molly Lu Lafferty.

*Music for entrance.*

If you could all fill in the aisle area and stay close to us, that would be great. There is no “her” side and “his” side like you might find in a traditional church setting, so you could consider that symbolic of the blending of families that’s happening here today. Or you could just notice there’s only 17 of us and it’s not really a big deal who stands where. We’re not a formal bunch. In fact, the majority of my time spent with Dan and Molly involves flannel pajama pants, a board game called pegs and aces, and Dan’s ubiquitous Guinness cap. Speaking of which. *JIM PUTS ON GUINNESS CAP*

Much better. Things were feeling a little formal by our standards. You all know as well as I do how casual and comfortable Dan and Molly are. You are their family and closest friends, and they thank you for supporting them throughout their lives. You had a front-row seat watching them grow up and now you have a front-row seat, quite literally, at another milestone, their wedding.

So, I know it’s cold out, but let’s take a couple minutes to explain why I’m standing up here. I have the distinct privilege of calling Dan and Molly my best friends. And it goes back to an ad Amy put on Craigslist in April of 2011.

We moved to Maine so Amy could go to graduate school at the University of New England. We didn’t know anybody in Maine and we needed help paying the rent. So we placed an ad on Craigslist and found the perfect roommate. But she moved out after two weeks because she was getting married, so we had to place a second ad on Craigslist and we ended up with Danny.

Danny came over just before Easter of 2011 to check out the room we had for rent. Dan was working at Rosemont Bakery about 200 yards from Joanne’s house, he liked craft beer and he brought a big ol’ baguette over, so it was a good match for me.

Molly came home from her senior year at St. Michael’s College a couple of weeks after Dan moved in. There were instant sparks, so much so that my Dad still talks about Molly giving Dan a hard time while Dan was fixing our kitchen sink. But we all saw it. Andy was there, spending Memorial Day with Dan and Molly playing video games on our TV and grilling out back. Joanne saw it. She asked me if I thought Dan might be interested in Molly because she could just tell. We could all just tell.

It was so entertaining. I thought it was so much fun to watch two people in this funny little dance. Dan didn’t want to date the landlord’s daughter, but the landlord’s daughter couldn’t resist Dan. And now they’re getting married.

It was a rare moment, actually. An atheist would chalk it up to randomness, two particles bouncing into each other in a sea of humanity and sticking together. But let’s consider for a moment the string of “coincidences” that brought us here.

Amy and I had to get married. Don’t even get me started on the odds of that happening.

We had to get tired of living in Utah and move across the country.

Amy had to spot the “for rent” sign placed in front of Joanne’s house.

Amy had to choose Joanne’s place over a newly refurbished, cheaper condo in Westbrook.

Our first roommate had to move out two weeks after moving in because she was getting married.

Dan had to get tired of his doofus roommates on Munjoy Hill and look at Craigslist.

Molly had to move back to Portland rather than go somewhere else after college.

Molly had to have nothing to do on Memorial Day, 2011, and spend the day with Dan and Andy.

They didn’t find each other on a flannel pajama enthusiast website, though we all know that’s a valid possibility. As neighbors, they saw each other for exactly who they are. And, with no pretense of being a dating couple, with no awkward first date discussions, somehow, Dan and Molly still really, really liked each other. Their love story began while eating Shaw’s salads and playing pegs and aces in our living room.

And of course they became a couple. It was just so obvious they would. Molly locked on to Dan with her eyes whenever he was around. She still does. And of course they were going to move in together. And of course they’re here today getting married. They’ve been through a lot already. When Joanne’s dog Seymour was on his way out, Dan was there with Shaw’s salads in hand for Molly and Joanne and a dog treat for Seymour. And when Dan and Molly went to “just look” at dogs last August, they came home with the sparkplug that is Libby. They didn’t have any dog paraphernalia. There was crate or dog food or treats. Whatever. It’s not a problem. It’s just not. Both Dan and Molly would tell you that. They’re just going to deal with life together. It’s what they’ve always done. And of course I was going to talk about your dog. You both fawn over Libby. Even when you’re annoyed by her, you still really like her.

And they still really like each other. You can see that today. *MAKE UP SOMETHING!!!*

I would submit to you both that maybe it’s not just coincidence you’re standing here. They say God, and the Holy Spirit, work in mysterious ways. U2 wrote a song about it. I don’t claim to know how it all works. I don’t believe God controls the strings of your life like a marionette, but I do think he opens doors for you at the right moment and gives you a choice. And, in your case, an incredible sequence of doors had to open - for many people - to have us standing here today.

That’s not to say you’re a perfect couple or are destined to be together. But you accept your imperfections. More importantly, you talk about your imperfections.

You will get plenty of advice on marriage from the Internet, from books, from people standing in this room and from people at the reception tonight. And that’s all fine. But because you are my best friends, plural, I get to say it in this moment while I am confident I have your undivided attention. The secret to marriage is not keeping secrets. Talk. Share your feelings, even the bad ones. Continue to be real with each other. It is the foundation of your relationship and, in the end, being real is all you really have.

And that’s why your wedding vows were a challenge for both of you. You’ve already committed to each other and been real with each other and are doing many things right. And although you two are making this promise today, the truth is you have already made these promises to each other. In your day-to-day lives, you will not think of these vows often. They're implicit to being with somebody. But this is your chance to explicitly say what you are promising each other. Dan and Molly have spent crucial time talking about these vows and what being married really means. This is the beating heart of their marriage. We will start with Molly and her vows to Dan.

MOLLY’S VOWS

DAN'S VOWS

Excellent promises. And now, as a symbol of these promises, and the bond between you, we will exchange rings. In Christianity, the ring represents an unbroken promise to the partner. So Molly, take this wedding ring and place it on Dan’s finger as a symbol of your bond and commitment to marriage.

Dan, take this wedding ring and place it on Molly’s finger as a symbol of your bond and commitment to marriage.

And with that, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Danny, kiss the bride.

Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family, I present to you Mr. Dan Lindberg and Mrs. Molly Lu Lindberg.