I truly despise running
I have always hated running. But part of me always wondered how fast I could run if my life was in danger. You know, being chased by a bear through the woods, could I make it to my car before being eaten? I don't know that answer. But I learned in high school that, when called upon, anybody can run like the wind. That's me getting my letter in theater, I think. Notice the chub? With a couple of months left in our senior year, I decided it would be a great idea to mess with our student teacher in Russian class. She was dating Dave Offord's older brother — or someone's older brother, I really don't remember — and it was her last day of school. Maybe it was somebody's sister. Move along people. It was decided that the student-teacher needed her car done up right. In this context, "right" meant an application of honey, followed by an application of popcorn. Harmless fun . The thing is, Stillwater High School has parking lot attendants. Two of them, back in...