Rock 'n' Roll Ain't Noise Pollution

First, my disclaimers. I limited this list to albums I actually own and have listened to obsessively at one point or another in my life. There are omissions. I own 10 Pearl Jam CDs and about as many Metallica albums, but I couldn't find one album that warranted being ahead of any of the 20 here. It's heresy, I know. I *tried* to avoid greatest hits albums — notably, Tom Petty's (for the song Last Dance With Mary Jane), The Stones, and Springsteen all fell into this catch — but one greatest hits album still made my top two. I'm like that. Contrary to my own rules.

1. Led Zeppelin, albums I, II, IV and Physical Graffiti
No band deserves to be on this list four times, even if I have a tattoo of the band's symbols on my upper arm, which I do. But I can't choose just one. The first album was the statement album, with the sound that separated Zeppelin from every other band and paved the way for Black Sabbath, Metallica, Van Halen, et al. II just rocks. Every song on IV is amazing, with a variety that a modern band can't fathom putting on one album. And Physical Graffiti has Kashmir, the greatest song ever recorded. Or top five, anyway. Superstition is a hell of a song. Jumpin' Jack Flash is right up there. Oh, crap. I'm starting another list. Zeppelin got me from age 15 to age 23, in essence. Move along.
 
2. Credence Clearwater Revival "Gold"
Here's the thing about no greatest hits albums: I grew up with this album. Dad would crank up the bass on his 3-foot-tall speakers and blast Heard It Through the Grapevine and Suzie Q. On the school bus in high school, I rediscovered a tape of this album and listened to it every day for my 45-minute ride to school. Santana's "Arabraxas" was on the back side. That was a good tape.

3. U2 "Acthung Baby"

Wow. Talk about shifting gears. U2 put out "Joshua Tree" and, "Rattle & Hum," then this album. The lyrics are dark and tell a story of a young man looking for love and a reason to live and, ultimately, not finding it. It took me a decade to appreciate the second half of the album, which might be better than anything that's played on the radio. So Cruel, The Fly, Ultraviolet and Acrobat are amazingly undervalued outside of the hardcore fans. I get obsessed with this album for about a week every year.


4. The Who "Who's Next"
I challenge you to find a better example of lead drumming than Keith Moon on Won't Get Fooled Again. He was simply not human. The Who pretty much only had one gear, straight-ahead bulldozer, but they owned it on Baba O'Reilly, Love Ain't for Keeping, Going Mobile and Behind Blue Eyes.

5. Nirvana "Unplugged in New York"
A band struggling with its own success shrinks from the spotlight, and shows its versatility, by playing mostly B-sides and cover songs. My guess is Nirvana would have broken up and Kurt Cobain would have been in and out of treatment in perpetuity, so maybe it's just as well this was their last show. No, that's crap. But it was a hell of a note to go out on.

6. Tom Petty "Wildflowers"
Elmo, a kid who liked his Mary Jane in high school and a guy who put a satellite dish and a 60-inch TV in his University of Minnesota dorm room, used to tell me all the time this was the best album ever. It's certainly Petty's best album. It's raunchy, sad, upbeat and, somehow, it all ties together. The third song, Time to Move On, was the song I listened to on the car radio when I moved from Utah to Maine. "It's time to move on. Time to get going. What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing." I know that feeling pretty well.

7. Bruce Springsteen "The Rising"
It's a little hard to condone a Norah Jones album with one or two good songs on it beating The Rising for the Grammy in 2003. Not every song on The Rising is about September 11, but that's what the album was about. Not bad for his first studio album in seven years.

8. Alice In Chains "MTV Unplugged"
You don't have to be an Alice In Chains fan to like this album. It's the only album I have of AIC music. It's that good. I listened obsessively to it my freshman year of college, hence its position here.

9. Pink Floyd "Dark Side of the Moon"
Do I really need to explain this? Instead, a story. Pink Floyd ruined every concert I have seen. Well, every concert since I saw them in the summer of 1993 on their final tour. We bought tickets from a ticket agency. They were in the third row at the Metrodome and cost $90 apiece. Try doing that for a show now. We were right in front of the speakers. It felt like my heart could stop but the pulsing sound would keep my heart going until the end of the show.

10. Coldplay "Clocks"
In six years of marriage, TW and I have seen one concert together: Coldplay at The Gorge in Washington. The venue was amazing, the band was not. They are much better recorded than they are live, though they did a fun version of Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean." Also, I love every song on this album. Yes, every subsequent album sounds pretty much like this one, but I don't think you can ding this album for that.

11. Van Halen "1984"
In second grade, I was told that I would be rewarded for good report cards with a present of my choosing. A little present, nothing major. That's how we ended up in the Target in St. Paul. I spotted the album cover — a baby angel smoking a cigarette — and that was how I ended up with this album. I believe I also played the song Hot For Teacher for my second grade class. Good times.

12. The Doors "The Doors"
Talk about a debut album. I discovered it in my Mom's record collection and would play the whole thing while playing games on my Sega Genesis.

13. The Beatles "Rubber Soul"
Here's why I didn't pick Sgt. Pepper: John Lennon said that, other than the opening track, "Every other song could have been on any other album." I agree. Rubber Soul was poppy but the Beatles were starting to play with goofy guitar sounds. And has anybody heard the lyrics to the final song on the album? Did John Lennon really sing, "You'd better run for your life if you can, little girl; ... Catch you with another man, that's the end, little girl." Never mind the hypocrisy of it, where's the love, Johnny?

14. Jimi Hendrix "Voodoo Child"
Another greatest-hits album. I know, I suck. He's my favorite guitarist of all-time so he's got to be on the list and this album has the most comprehensive collection of Hendrix at his best: organized and pounding.

15. NWA "Straight Outta Compton"
This isn't just on here for the "Whaaaaaaa?" factor. This album meant something. People ... OK, white people ... discounted hardcore rap as being done for shock value. Then came the Rodney King riots. "People" asked why it was happening. Listen to this album. Corrupt cops and a hopeless society in South Central. The talent in this band is ridiculous. They are the equivalent to 60s supergroups like Cream.

16. Pink Floyd "The Wall"
The summer before senior year, I taped a Walkman to the crossbar of my bike. I taped mini speakers — remember mini speakers? — to my handlebars. Eric Martin and I road our bikes 83 miles to my parents' cabin, listening to The Wall much of the way.

17. The Killers "Hot Fuss"
The band came to Salt Lake in the summer of 2007. Kind of. They played the Salt Air, which is about 10 miles from the nearest house, building or business. It's an old airport hangar that sits on the edge of the Salt Lake. Weird, I know. There might have been 2,500 people there for The Killers after they released Sam's Town. My friend Ross and I were in the upper 5 percent of age at the show, which was also weird, but it was excellent. Also, I've got soul but I'm not a soldier is an awesome refrain to listen to while you're skiing.

18. Big Head Todd "Sister Sweetly"
The only other concert I've been to with the TW and we left before the encore because it was too loud. Todd's blues rock sensibility is too much for some. Not for me. C-Hunt and I saw them from the third or fourth row at the State Theater in Minneapolis. It was eggcellent. This might be the second-most obscure choice on the list. Give it a try.

19. The Cars "The Cars"
As previously mentioned.

20. Johnny Marr "Boomslang"
Who did what now? Johnny Marr was the lead guitar player in The Smiths. You know, The Smiths. This album is listenable from cover to cover. And you've never heard of it.

On the outside, looking in: Fleetwood Mac "The Dance"; Pearl Jam "Ten"; Anything by The White Stripes; Anything by Radiohead (but The Bends, in particular).