Jimmies for Jimmy (but no Jimmers)

The girl behind the counter at Smiling Hill Dairy had to be all of 19 years old.

"Do you want any jimmies on your ice cream?" she smiled as she asked me.
"Um. Huh? What are .. did you say jimmies? Because that's kind of my name ..."

"Yeah, you know, jimmies,"  her cheerfulness never wavering.

She walked back a few steps and picked up a container, shaking it for me. I watched the colored, tiny crystals of conglomerated sugar as it dawned on me.

Oh, she means "sprinkles."

By many accounts, I am an idiot. This has been openly acknowledged and this is not the last time I will acknowledge this fact. However. Please stop confusing me with your regional dialects. Or at least smile, be cheerful and a 19-year-old female when I am confused by your strange words. Utah has Jimmer. Or Teh Jimmer, if you prefer. The South has JimBob. Please, always call me JimBob.

Of course, we also have grinders here. Actually, I have yet to see a sign here in Maine for a grinder, but I know they're all over New Hampshire and Vermont. They're sub sandwiches. Hoagies, if you will.

But I digress. Remember that roadtrip I mentioned? My Dad and I stopped at a KFC somewhere outside of Atlanta. The guy behind the counter had one of the worst Southern accents I have ever heard. I placed my order, and then I heard:
"Yawanwhimeohdamewida?"

Um. Exsqueeze me?

Aye, The Colonel! With his wee beady eyes.
"Yawanwhimeohdamewida?"

What?

At this point, my Dad looked at me and said slowly, laughing with his trademark, smart-alek grin: "He's asking if you want white meat or dark meat with that."

I'm not a big fan of whitewashing the world, but a man should be able to understand when somebody is asking if you want white or dark meat. One of the things I like best about New England is its unique accent. But can we maybe corporatize just a little on a few things? Specifically, food-related things? Clearly, that's all I really care about.

Comments

  1. BobApril 14, 2011 at 5:12 AM

    In Utah, dat right thar would be downright ig'nurnt, Elder Jimmer.

    ReplyDelete
  2. JillApril 15, 2011 at 7:08 AM

    Jimmies is the worst thing I have ever heard. And THE Jimmer makes me want to stab myself in the eye. By all accounts, I should be offended by this blog. But, it's not really your fault. I like the picture of the sprinkles. 25-4-3.

    ReplyDelete
  3. mestreenApril 15, 2011 at 4:22 PM

    My sister and I call them Jimmies. Not sure when that started or why, but yes, sprinkles are jimmies. ;)

    ReplyDelete

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