Here's an open fact: I am terrible with secrets

Have something you don't want the world to know? Don't tell me. My chosen profession is a good one. I don't keep secrets. I tell them.

This is how I justify my latest failure. Or celebrate openly an upcoming vacation! First off, let me tell you how much I appreciate your vacation photos. Fabulous. Especially when we get 19 inches of snow in one day and I haven't left the house in 48 hours.

I will be at the floating bar (not pictured).
So. Here's where we're going in May! In the midst of a conversation with Amy – about tacos and Styx's 1983 Kilroy Was Here — I blurted out a potential destination for our super-secret, hush-hush May vacation. I'm not sure if the picture at right is a photo or a painting. But that's where we're going. Rooms have swim-out canals, so you can enter the pool without showing off your non-summer-ready body. As if that would ever be the case.

This tradition goes back a long way. Just ask my Mom. She's coming to Portland tomorrow. Oops. That was supposed to be a surprise. Or, I conceived it as a surprise visit. That didn't work out so much. I started doubting my plan. Started wondering if The Wife would appreciate a visit from The In-Laws. I'm a human sieve for information. So, assuming TW doesn't read this, what can I tell you about our destination? It's warm there in May. It's international. And it is not Jamaica, Puerto Rico or the Bahamas.

Fact: The beaches here are topless. I plan on endulging in some of that myself.
Secrets are my enemy. I don't know why. You know how it feels when you've *really* got to go to the bathroom? That's how it feels when I know a secret. I can only hold it for a little bit when I have to find the nearest receptacle. Even if it's a far-flung option like a neighbor's yard or someone who doesn't speak English. OK, two different options there for two different scenarios. Promise.

The moral here is that I will tell you anything. Want intimate marital details? No problem. My ACT scores? I either still have a printout with that information or have the information memorized. And I'm always happy to share dog information. I am annoyed by my own lack of a filter. But it is what it is. So reserve a week in mid-May to read all about our trip to St. Mart ... er ... Barbados.

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