Shopping local and the $85 turkey

The grocery stores in Utah have what I believe to be the best deal in all grocery shopping. In the week leading up to Thanksgiving, they have a deal: Buy $25 worth of groceries and you can get a 20-pound turkey for $7.

For $85, it better come with a happy ending.
Too good to pass up, right? That's how we ended up with five, count 'em, five turkeys in our freezer one year. The Wife was not pleased. "Never again," she mutters every time I bring it up, as if I am somehow unclear on the issue.

The little neighborhood grocery store around the corner from us has pretty much the opposite of a good deal. I won't name names because I am trying really hard to be a yuppy/good person. I walked in last fall to get a turkey because we had some guests coming. We like to make a big meal, on occasion, when we have guests come to town.

"Yeah, we can get you one," the butcher told me. "They're not usually in season yet, but I'll make a few calls. It'll be about $4 a pound. Something like that."

Something like that. Oooooooook. I'm willing to give this a shot. I only want a 15-pound bird, though. And it better taste like it was cooked by Emeril. With Wolfgang as his sous chef.

The proof.
Slight problem. That 15-pound bird? Yeah, that's a 17-pound bird. Remember that price? Yeah, it's actually $5 a pound. I found this out at the butcher counter, after they had specially ordered the bird to be prepared for me. I felt stupid. On the one hand, you can walk away and be an ass. On the other, you can buy the thing and never, ever buy another. In the heat of the moment, I chose the latter.

Man, this thing better taste like a chocolate chip cookie dough Blizzard on top of buffalo wings. It better be like melted butter when I stick that carving knife into it.

It was the worst turkey I have ever eaten. It was dry. It was flavorless.

None of which do I hold against the market, believe it or not. They have a great wine selection. They're super helpful. The owner lives around the corner and he's invited me over to sip wine in his front yard while my dog attempts to kill his dog in the fenced-in yard. They have good deals on spices.

But I learned my lesson. I'm not going back to $7 turkeys, but shopping local has its limits. Does this make me a giant hypocrite because I love Trader Joe's (affordable!)? I don't know. But I know I can't afford to shop local and enjoy the occasional turkey.

Comments

  1. JPMarch 23, 2011 at 7:09 AM

    As a member of the mainstream media, I do!

    ReplyDelete
  2. JillMarch 23, 2011 at 7:11 AM

    Gross. 10-2-1. Uncredited points for Trader Joe's.

    ReplyDelete
  3. SarahMarch 23, 2011 at 9:04 AM

    I would have done the same thing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. David CorriveauMarch 23, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    Here's a more traditional solution:

    http://northernwoodlands.org/outside_story/article/why-did-the-turkey-cross-the-road/

    ReplyDelete
  5. KariMarch 30, 2011 at 7:38 AM

    You have me beat with 5 turkeys; the most I had in my freezer at once was maybe 3. I do tend to stock up on those good deals though;-)

    ReplyDelete

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