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Showing posts from February, 2015

A Heart Attack During a Wedding

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I don't have a great picture of just the couple, so here's the couple plus grandma Toni. How does one officiate a wedding for the first time? Certainly not with a bunch of notecards. That would be sooooooooo 20th century. I decided to use Google Docs to write the ceremony, meaning I could just open it on an iPad during Monday's big ceremony. I downloaded the ceremony, checked and rechecked that it was fully loaded. Then, happy it was all there, I closed the iPad cover and took it to the Portland Observatory for the ceremony. Things were going fine during the ceremony. I was talking to fast but didn't really lose my place in the speech. I hadn't practiced enough to really have it nailed down but I'm confident nobody cared. There was only about 17 people there. We got to the vows. I was home free! But as I was scrolling through the bride's vows, I saw an ominous black page coming up. And an exclamation point. "Sorry! This page could not load. Please reloa

Wedding Post No. 1

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A 1920s era newsboy, a bride, and a TW. I have been thinking a lot about what to say about the wedding I performed for Dan and Molly on Monday. No nicknames today. There were a lot of firsts Monday. But for all of the cute ways I can think to describe the day, the totally unplanned, ad-libbed speech I gave to kick off the toasts at dinner summed up the day better than any cute linguistic games we can play. The scene: Hugo's bistro in downtown Portland, arguably the fanciest restaurant in town. The crowd: 40 guests and about 20 of Dan's co-workers (today, and today only, he is Dan. You might know him better as Nacho Man). The Wife: smoking hot. The toast: "Okay everybody, I'd like to kick off the toasts this evening. I know not everybody was able to make it to the ceremony because it was held at the Portland observatory and there wasn't room for everybody. So I'd like to do a recap of the event for my friend Shayne in the back there. Shayne talking to you will h